Today I flipped through a couple of my journals. I don't know what more to say than that I'm truly...impressed with God's consistency and faithfulness.(As if it's some surprise...) I'm changed in certain areas, but also struggling with the same things in others. It's soon to be 2010, and part of me is expecting all this change in my life. Another part of me knows that God will just keep bringing it on because He loves me so.
January 21
"Other than gifts/tangible blessings, encouragement is a way to bless others. Also, not only God can bless, but we can bless one another."
"Dear Heavenly Father,
You always provide. Thank you."
February 5
"Praise the Lord for providing strength and joyful times this week!"
February 8
"It's crazy to think that not only am I going to church to sing praises, learn about God, and meet Him there, but He's here with me right now at home. The God of the universe is standing so close to me."
February 24
"Lord You are so good and faithful. Through everything, I can say that you have truly provided-even when I didn't turn to You, trust You, and depend on You"
March 21
"What a packed weekend! I can't help but focus on the fact that there's always so much to do. I really need to work on that mindset."
April 24
"I still struggle with balancing my focus on sound (as to not distract the body) and undignified worship to God."
May 8
"But really, God has been pouring out love to me this week. He convicted me and gave me assurance in His love and nature. He gave me opportunities to grow, serve, witness, and encourage. I forget so often. The problem might be that these realizations aren't as powerful as they should be when I actually remember..otherwise, instead of wandering from my mind, they would dwell."
June 25
"I wish I could drag out time. I also wish I could fast forward and skip a whole chunk. Maybe that's enough to show that I underestimate all that God can do and why He makes time work the way it does."
July 12
"Genuine faith always proves itself in good or troubled times."
July 13
"God's working everywhere. In every aspect of my life! I'm way too comfy...who do I think I am?"
"What are things that I'll get disappointed about? Will I be able to say, 'God is still God and I still want to worship'?"
August 19
"Why is it that I care so much about so many things and still haven't done much? I find myself distracted and holding back. Am I afraid to take those steps of faith and to see/let God take me wherever He pleases? There's nothing to loose."
September 18
"I'm suffocating. I'm forgetting who this life is all about ): I'm God-deprived. And I'm sleepy."
"Lord, I commit all of these things to You and trust in Your sovereignty. I believe You are going to use me according to Your will and that You are going to use these people and the circumstances I encounter to affect me. I pray that I would respond to both in ways glorifying to You."
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
On Sunday, one of the moms from church commented on the clothes my friends and I were wearing. She said, "You girls are too young to be wearing gray!"
Later on Sunday, I found out something about a sister that scared me, confused me, and broke my heart. As I looked upon her situation, I found it hard to believe/recall how far apart our lives have become since the beginning of high school and how difficult it has been to continue loving and encouraging her.
Today, I heard the news. A senior from my high school was speeding on Sunday morning and killed a 49 year-old pedestrian. A husband, father of 3, and teacher. Although I was out all day, occasionally recalling this incident and silently wishing he would suffer as he "deserves", I came home to an email that addressed him as a "friend" and his facebook page filled with love and support. He, too, is a son, student, and friend. He, too, is forever broken.
Our world is broken, and God has once again opened my eyes to the reality that is bigger and more important than where I get accepted into college. In this world, there is murder and drugs and hatred. But there is also guilt and shame and loneliness...only my self-righteousness gets in the way before I find it in myself to love those that suffer from these things. How will this boy walk the hallways of school again? How will he grow up seeing himself? Who are we to decide what he deserves when we, too, are sinning against one another and the laws of God with lies, pride, stealing, selfishness, and self-righteousness? And how will we, the Body of Christ, use this situation to glorify God?
It is 4 days before Christmas. That's 4 days before a family celebrates Christmas without a husband/father. But moreover, it's four days before the "birthday" of our Christ, who came down to Earth to give us grace and a full life. In a strange, hard-for-humans-to-understand way, Christ meant for that gift of Christ to be for everyone every day of the year and yet we think we (as "good" people) deserve it more than the murderer. The cheater. The thief. So on.
As humans, we are definitely too young to be wearing gray. Too weak to ever handle any situation on our own. Too confused to discern right from wrong. Too lost to find our own direction. And too sinful to ever meet every expectation. We'll never be ready, or "old enough" to face the darkness of the world alone. The only thing we can do is love others as He loved us, because we don't deserve it any more than the next person. Because we're commanded to do so. Because it's a response to God's gift of love that He so graciously pours out. So this week and in every season of your life, examine the ways that God is blessing you with His love and the opportunity to know Him. And to use any situation to glorify Him, examine the ways that you can bless others with the same love and pour it out on the lost, ashamed, and broken.
[Bitter]sweet awakening.
Later on Sunday, I found out something about a sister that scared me, confused me, and broke my heart. As I looked upon her situation, I found it hard to believe/recall how far apart our lives have become since the beginning of high school and how difficult it has been to continue loving and encouraging her.
Today, I heard the news. A senior from my high school was speeding on Sunday morning and killed a 49 year-old pedestrian. A husband, father of 3, and teacher. Although I was out all day, occasionally recalling this incident and silently wishing he would suffer as he "deserves", I came home to an email that addressed him as a "friend" and his facebook page filled with love and support. He, too, is a son, student, and friend. He, too, is forever broken.
Our world is broken, and God has once again opened my eyes to the reality that is bigger and more important than where I get accepted into college. In this world, there is murder and drugs and hatred. But there is also guilt and shame and loneliness...only my self-righteousness gets in the way before I find it in myself to love those that suffer from these things. How will this boy walk the hallways of school again? How will he grow up seeing himself? Who are we to decide what he deserves when we, too, are sinning against one another and the laws of God with lies, pride, stealing, selfishness, and self-righteousness? And how will we, the Body of Christ, use this situation to glorify God?
It is 4 days before Christmas. That's 4 days before a family celebrates Christmas without a husband/father. But moreover, it's four days before the "birthday" of our Christ, who came down to Earth to give us grace and a full life. In a strange, hard-for-humans-to-understand way, Christ meant for that gift of Christ to be for everyone every day of the year and yet we think we (as "good" people) deserve it more than the murderer. The cheater. The thief. So on.
As humans, we are definitely too young to be wearing gray. Too weak to ever handle any situation on our own. Too confused to discern right from wrong. Too lost to find our own direction. And too sinful to ever meet every expectation. We'll never be ready, or "old enough" to face the darkness of the world alone. The only thing we can do is love others as He loved us, because we don't deserve it any more than the next person. Because we're commanded to do so. Because it's a response to God's gift of love that He so graciously pours out. So this week and in every season of your life, examine the ways that God is blessing you with His love and the opportunity to know Him. And to use any situation to glorify Him, examine the ways that you can bless others with the same love and pour it out on the lost, ashamed, and broken.
[Bitter]sweet awakening.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Squint
The sun is finallyyyyyy out! I haven't been outside yet (Mama Hsieh wouldn't let me go to church) but I'm pretty sure the clouds are still out and the brightness isn't squint quality.
But I don't mind the rain/fog/cloudiness so much after all..Last night was just a reminder that the ultimate plan is in God's plan and is glorifying to Him!!
I often think of my own life as the most important thing God could be deciding on, and the convictions about a greater plan are mere head-knowledge facts. How can I believe that I'm only a small part of a bigger plan when thoughts about my future are running through my mind all day everyday? When the environment which I'm immersed in is all about me? Which college will I go to? What am I going to be doing for the rest of my life? Will I love it? How hard is it going to be? Will I keep in touch with certain people? When will my loved ones die? Who am I going to marry? What grade am I going to get in this class?
As we all leave these questions unanswered, the only things we have to fall back on are those that are consistent. That we're sure of. Last night, the knowledge of God's consistency went from head knowledge to heart knowledge. He consistently proves us wrong, and He consistently calms our worries. He consistently proves to us that He is powerful and that involved in the details of our lives. He is consistent in faithfulness and in love.
Because it's December and so darn chilly outside, we decided to have hot drinks at the Crescendo coffeehouse. We don't need the sun! We've got the warmth and coziness of fellowship and delicious hot chocolate/apple cider! Then, this morning I was reminded that the sun also provides light, not just warmth. Even though it was already 10am, it still seemed overcast outside. And as I remembered God's overwhelming grace, love, and sovereignty, I found it hard to look/think upon it all at once. Our purpose in Him is always consistent and directed toward glorifying Him, even though it can be stressful/difficult. But it's somewhat comforting to recall that there's something worthy (MORE than worthy) to strive for. Something so big and good and warm and bright that thinking about it almost makes me squint.
But I don't mind the rain/fog/cloudiness so much after all..Last night was just a reminder that the ultimate plan is in God's plan and is glorifying to Him!!
I often think of my own life as the most important thing God could be deciding on, and the convictions about a greater plan are mere head-knowledge facts. How can I believe that I'm only a small part of a bigger plan when thoughts about my future are running through my mind all day everyday? When the environment which I'm immersed in is all about me? Which college will I go to? What am I going to be doing for the rest of my life? Will I love it? How hard is it going to be? Will I keep in touch with certain people? When will my loved ones die? Who am I going to marry? What grade am I going to get in this class?
As we all leave these questions unanswered, the only things we have to fall back on are those that are consistent. That we're sure of. Last night, the knowledge of God's consistency went from head knowledge to heart knowledge. He consistently proves us wrong, and He consistently calms our worries. He consistently proves to us that He is powerful and that involved in the details of our lives. He is consistent in faithfulness and in love.
Because it's December and so darn chilly outside, we decided to have hot drinks at the Crescendo coffeehouse. We don't need the sun! We've got the warmth and coziness of fellowship and delicious hot chocolate/apple cider! Then, this morning I was reminded that the sun also provides light, not just warmth. Even though it was already 10am, it still seemed overcast outside. And as I remembered God's overwhelming grace, love, and sovereignty, I found it hard to look/think upon it all at once. Our purpose in Him is always consistent and directed toward glorifying Him, even though it can be stressful/difficult. But it's somewhat comforting to recall that there's something worthy (MORE than worthy) to strive for. Something so big and good and warm and bright that thinking about it almost makes me squint.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Blind Side
My mom just told me that the news was telling everyone to bring their pets etc. inside. A homeless woman recently froze to death.
At first I just say, "That's sad...", but I realize how narrow my scope of the world is. Where I'm standing, all I can see is my world: school at Peninsula, homework at home, extracurricular activities, and church at PVBC. I just got sick, and with finals looming and countless December events/gigs to prepare for, I think I have it bad. Sickness is the last thing I need. Like this is all the worst combo that could happen. When I remember that there are people like this suffering much greater problems, the conviction is temporary and I forget, quickly moving onto another.
I think there's a small (and deceptive) voice in my head telling me that it's not my place or time to be helping those people. Or that I can simply do it later. There's this mentality that where I am, and all academics and the ministry that I surround my life around, is all that I'm responsible for. I've forgotten my responsibilities according to God's standards and the incredible ability of prayer. PRAYER which asks of God and prompts His movement...I can be praying for these people..interceding for strangers and non-believers and those who endure the world without hope. I can be asking God to soften their hearts to His presence and joy and comfort.
I forget to pray for the sick/hungry unless I'm asked to. I forget that our God is powerful and faithful and loving. I think of Him as this far off figure that I'm serving without truly knowing. Now I pray that this conviction would last, and that if I do forget, that I would be reminded. While I sit here knowing the luxuries of food, shelter, education, family, and abundant blessings, I still lack something. That woman saw and understood true suffering. Regarding this, she had a greater scope of the world.
Lord, even if it means taking away these blessings, please help me to understand suffering so that what breaks Your heart would break mine. Give me less so that this would no longer be a blind side, but a daily conviction of the heart. Help me to love. Be with, watch over, and speak to those who are truly suffering from hopelessness, pressure, burdens, sickness. Provide for the homeless and feed the hungry. Spread the Word. Guide the lost. Convict the proud.
At first I just say, "That's sad...", but I realize how narrow my scope of the world is. Where I'm standing, all I can see is my world: school at Peninsula, homework at home, extracurricular activities, and church at PVBC. I just got sick, and with finals looming and countless December events/gigs to prepare for, I think I have it bad. Sickness is the last thing I need. Like this is all the worst combo that could happen. When I remember that there are people like this suffering much greater problems, the conviction is temporary and I forget, quickly moving onto another.
I think there's a small (and deceptive) voice in my head telling me that it's not my place or time to be helping those people. Or that I can simply do it later. There's this mentality that where I am, and all academics and the ministry that I surround my life around, is all that I'm responsible for. I've forgotten my responsibilities according to God's standards and the incredible ability of prayer. PRAYER which asks of God and prompts His movement...I can be praying for these people..interceding for strangers and non-believers and those who endure the world without hope. I can be asking God to soften their hearts to His presence and joy and comfort.
I forget to pray for the sick/hungry unless I'm asked to. I forget that our God is powerful and faithful and loving. I think of Him as this far off figure that I'm serving without truly knowing. Now I pray that this conviction would last, and that if I do forget, that I would be reminded. While I sit here knowing the luxuries of food, shelter, education, family, and abundant blessings, I still lack something. That woman saw and understood true suffering. Regarding this, she had a greater scope of the world.
Lord, even if it means taking away these blessings, please help me to understand suffering so that what breaks Your heart would break mine. Give me less so that this would no longer be a blind side, but a daily conviction of the heart. Help me to love. Be with, watch over, and speak to those who are truly suffering from hopelessness, pressure, burdens, sickness. Provide for the homeless and feed the hungry. Spread the Word. Guide the lost. Convict the proud.
whoa
i'm grateful for a brother who can tell that something's wrong from across the amphitheater. we can fight and tease all we want, but he still knows me. to a certain extent, he still knows me. and cares.
weird...eric? :)
weird...eric? :)
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Today I'm thankful for...
-God's character. His loving grace and our beautiful, unbelievable salvation through Christ. All His glory and magnificence. His BIGNESS. His intimate and compassionate heart and hands. The fact that He is trustworthy because He is good and powerful and sovereign. His humor and unexpected ways of working. That He is love, and that Love sent Love to die for me. The way His heart breaks for me and all the people of the world. His plan.His laws. His warmth.
-The family. My family is HUGE...God decided to give me a large, joyful, smart, generous, patient, and encouraging family/network of blood-relatives and brothers and sisters in Christ. If you are reading this, you're in my family :) It seems that everywhere I turn in any stage/situation of my life, my family is waiting to give me advice, comfort, or simply to listen. I'm in awe of every member of my family...that God has used them to meet my needs and to bless me more than I could ever imagine with great times and wholehearted relationships.
-Where I am. More often than not, it's hard to imagine that I'm where I am for a reason. That God placed me in this stage of life with all of these situations because He loves me and because He wants me closer to Him. "Where I am" encompasses all the joys, accomplishments, struggles, doubts, thankfulness, bitterness, laziness, fears, thankfulness, brokenness, and strength in me and in my life right now. Each of them give me a way to glorify Him, and I just need the open eyes to see how and heart to take a step towards Him. So even though life often seems hopeless/restraining/unfair/etc., I'm thankful because He actually has it under control. Real control...not the kind of control I often think I have over this life :)
-The past. When I look back at the past few years, I can see a lot of why God did what He did and how He's loved me through both great and horrible times. There have been bad grades, broken friendships, complicated relationships, miscommunication, impatience, and many many slip-ups. More often than not, recalling these excites me for the future and how God's going to completely transform my life in ways I would never expect. Sometimes, I'm ashamed of who I used to be...but boy does it show how faithfully and powerfully God will respond to an open heart. It gives me hope for the power He has enabled/given each of us to love and guide the lost and broken who are where I used to be.
-The mama. The single parent who might not have ever experienced the prince/princess/romantic love everyone's searching for. The one who's husband died a year after her second child was born. The one who came from Taiwan at 22 and allowed herself to be swept away by the beauty of life through music and ART. Who's been to Kenya, danggit. The one who exemplifies a woman and mother who LOVES because she sacrifices...yet probably has a hard time seriously or explicitly showing that love. Honestly, we avoid her around the house sometimes just because we don't want to be nagged at. But the nagging, feeding, and instilling of ideals is, if you think about it, quite unbelievable. The fact that she's this alive and this successful (hopefully apparent through us..Eric and I aren't that bad right? >.<) after 15 years of parenting alone.. Two children, a million activities, one worn-out persevering mom. Oh, and she's hilarious.
-Music. Simply how God created it so that we could be guided into His presence. It helps people feel and understand. It helps people vomit their thoughts and communicate what cannot be said..and it gives a little something (an audible lift or fall) to simple poetry. It fills empty space and awkward situations, and it brings ethnically separated people together (COOL right?). It dedicates and it remembers and it anticipates. It grows and it symbolizes. It wakes me up and puts me to sleep..and it uses gut. It is an art, study, performance, and act all in one. Oh my, and how it beats and flows..how a violin or piano has the ability to sing and how a guitar can be the drums and bass at the same time. Someonestopme i could go on forever....
and some things that don't need lengthy explanations (a.k.a. I need to sleep soon/I'll spare you the time&effort of reading it all..)
-honest conversations
-prayer
-the girls
-the big brothers/sisters
-the discipler and sg leader (my spiritual mamas :D)
-sarcasm
-life lessons
-YOUTUBE?
-notebooks/journals/lists/blogs
-coffee...starbucks..
-reminders/accountability
-romantic movies.
-outdoors/stars/quietness
-junk food
-kitty cat and how simple her life is...
-my guitar :)
-HOLIDAY SEASON. *gives a little dance*
Monday, November 23, 2009
3 in the morn'
I'll get angry if I want to.
Stop trying to get in my way.
Stop assuming that you know it all...you don't know half the story.
What the heck did I do to deserve this?
The world is definitely against me.
Everything must hate me. Everyone must hate me.
Life planned to throw all of this at my face at the same time.
or...
Did the good and sovereign God intimately, specifically, and lovingly place me where I am?
Stop trying to get in my way.
Stop assuming that you know it all...you don't know half the story.
What the heck did I do to deserve this?
The world is definitely against me.
Everything must hate me. Everyone must hate me.
Life planned to throw all of this at my face at the same time.
or...
Did the good and sovereign God intimately, specifically, and lovingly place me where I am?
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Currently Listening To: "Hymn"-Brooke Fraser
I'm sitting here, cramming for tests and assignments that feel like they determine everything about my future and who I am. I'm sitting here wishing I had more knowledge, talent, and control. This has been what's going on almost every day of junior year.
Suddenly, I remember that there are people who wonder how they're going to live their life without an education/support system/opportunities. Without someone to love them. Without money, food, water, or shelter. Without advice, encouragement, or support. WITH cancer, Alzheimer's, autism, ALS, and other disabilities. With abusive environments. With worlds of fear, hopelessness, and suffering. There are people wondering how they're going to live the next 6 months because that's all they have. There are people wondering whether or not they'll see their loved ones again. The ocean again. Their home again. Whether or not they'll see another day. And it breaks God's heart that I'm lounging in paradise wishing I had more.
What am I choosing to dwell in?
What are we meant to feel? To do in this world?
Lord, please continue to break me.
Lord, thank You. Thank You. Thank You.
"Cos my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
An avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become"
"C.S. Lewis Song"-Brooke Fraser
(Bitter)sweet Awakening.
Suddenly, I remember that there are people who wonder how they're going to live their life without an education/support system/opportunities. Without someone to love them. Without money, food, water, or shelter. Without advice, encouragement, or support. WITH cancer, Alzheimer's, autism, ALS, and other disabilities. With abusive environments. With worlds of fear, hopelessness, and suffering. There are people wondering how they're going to live the next 6 months because that's all they have. There are people wondering whether or not they'll see their loved ones again. The ocean again. Their home again. Whether or not they'll see another day. And it breaks God's heart that I'm lounging in paradise wishing I had more.
What am I choosing to dwell in?
What are we meant to feel? To do in this world?
Lord, please continue to break me.
Lord, thank You. Thank You. Thank You.
"Cos my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
An avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become"
"C.S. Lewis Song"-Brooke Fraser
(Bitter)sweet Awakening.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
New Appreciation for...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOPjbajrRXs
-choral music!!
-God's purpose in me
-small challenges
-silly friends
-funny, knowledgeable, hard-core teachers
-the falls that lead to my dependence on God's strength
-mama hsieh
-our cramped up, messy, and cozy small group room
-acoustics in the bathroom
-live recordings
-cold weather
-bluntness and honesty
-weekends...
-choral music!!
-God's purpose in me
-small challenges
-silly friends
-funny, knowledgeable, hard-core teachers
-the falls that lead to my dependence on God's strength
-mama hsieh
-our cramped up, messy, and cozy small group room
-acoustics in the bathroom
-live recordings
-cold weather
-bluntness and honesty
-weekends...
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Who am I?
It gets really frustrating sometimes, doesn't it? Our God allows pain, loneliness, tears, hunger, betrayal, disappointment, misunderstandings, shortcomings, and disease. So many of His people face trials and good people suffer everyday.
Who are You, God, to promise abundant blessings and a fulfilled life and to give us CRAP?
Who are You to ignore our prayers?
Who are You to take our loved ones?
Who are You to let injustice go unpunished?
The list goes on. I know this because in my limited faith and view of Christ, I am the one asking God why He isn't the God we're told He is. I am the one asking why things aren't perfect.
But I stand here now and look back at the past couple of weeks..
-the Lord wants me to remember Him, so that I may worship Him and have communion with Him ("Remembrance"-Matt Redman)
-the Lord seeks my time, set apart for Him, and my heart, devoted to Him, in all that I do. (the story of Mary and Martha..Luke 10:38-42)
-the Lord is a God of love, not hate/anger/punishment (John 3:17) and means for US to love as He does (Nooma video "Bullhorn")
It seems to me as though God is perhaps, maybe, possibly, TOTALLY bigger than we know. This God that I'm questioning is worth remembering and worshiping. He's MORE than worth my devotion of heart and time and efforts. And ultimately, we're here because He has a plan for us: TO LOVE. I really caught a glimpse of how limited my view of God is today. Those questions which flew so confidently from my heart suddenly turned into a whopping..
Who am I to ever question God's character, plan, faithfulness, and worth?
This God we all talk about...none of us really have an accurate idea of His love. And boy He IS love like no other! He IS love in all that He is and does. It surely takes a great amount of faith to believe that He's even there, but for believers, the challenge now is to have faith in His love. This love that will never be grasped or understood..we just need to believe in it. Why? Love is the basis of our lives. This love is from God, and if we can even think or hope to glorify Him, we need to have faith in His greater love.
We could spend infinite hours squeezing our eyes shut or searching scripture attempting to understand more of His love. I'm not saying that we shouldn't. But I've just been blown away by how recognition of it can change my way of thinking and living, and I believe that He meant to use homecoming--> canceled fnf--> a conversation with a sister to open my eyes to my constant misunderstanding of God and to praise Him for being greater than I understand.
Who are You, God, to promise abundant blessings and a fulfilled life and to give us CRAP?
Who are You to ignore our prayers?
Who are You to take our loved ones?
Who are You to let injustice go unpunished?
The list goes on. I know this because in my limited faith and view of Christ, I am the one asking God why He isn't the God we're told He is. I am the one asking why things aren't perfect.
But I stand here now and look back at the past couple of weeks..
-the Lord wants me to remember Him, so that I may worship Him and have communion with Him ("Remembrance"-Matt Redman)
-the Lord seeks my time, set apart for Him, and my heart, devoted to Him, in all that I do. (the story of Mary and Martha..Luke 10:38-42)
-the Lord is a God of love, not hate/anger/punishment (John 3:17) and means for US to love as He does (Nooma video "Bullhorn")
It seems to me as though God is perhaps, maybe, possibly, TOTALLY bigger than we know. This God that I'm questioning is worth remembering and worshiping. He's MORE than worth my devotion of heart and time and efforts. And ultimately, we're here because He has a plan for us: TO LOVE. I really caught a glimpse of how limited my view of God is today. Those questions which flew so confidently from my heart suddenly turned into a whopping..
Who am I to ever question God's character, plan, faithfulness, and worth?
This God we all talk about...none of us really have an accurate idea of His love. And boy He IS love like no other! He IS love in all that He is and does. It surely takes a great amount of faith to believe that He's even there, but for believers, the challenge now is to have faith in His love. This love that will never be grasped or understood..we just need to believe in it. Why? Love is the basis of our lives. This love is from God, and if we can even think or hope to glorify Him, we need to have faith in His greater love.
We could spend infinite hours squeezing our eyes shut or searching scripture attempting to understand more of His love. I'm not saying that we shouldn't. But I've just been blown away by how recognition of it can change my way of thinking and living, and I believe that He meant to use homecoming--> canceled fnf--> a conversation with a sister to open my eyes to my constant misunderstanding of God and to praise Him for being greater than I understand.
Monday, November 2, 2009
I Choose...
Eternal joy over temporary happiness.
Kindness over cruelty.
Love over hate.
The internal over the external.
The battle over the easy life.
The Rock over wandering.
Warmth over coldness.
Light over darkness.
His plan over mine.
Encouragement over gossip.
Diligence over laziness.
Courage over fear.
Worship over music.
Selflessness over selfishness.
Humility over pride.
Wholeheartedness over halfheartedness.
Smiles over frowns.
Hope over discouragement.
Trust over doubt.
Wisdom over knowledge.
Persecution over acceptance.
The uncomfortable over the comfortable.
To be set apart for the glory of the Lord over being one with the world.
To commit my life and my heart to the God that gave it all because He loves a loser like me (and you).
To allow Him to take over my heart.
To recognize my dependence on Him for anything good.
To remember. To believe. To know in my head, and to know with my heart.
Kindness over cruelty.
Love over hate.
The internal over the external.
The battle over the easy life.
The Rock over wandering.
Warmth over coldness.
Light over darkness.
His plan over mine.
Encouragement over gossip.
Diligence over laziness.
Courage over fear.
Worship over music.
Selflessness over selfishness.
Humility over pride.
Wholeheartedness over halfheartedness.
Smiles over frowns.
Hope over discouragement.
Trust over doubt.
Wisdom over knowledge.
Persecution over acceptance.
The uncomfortable over the comfortable.
To be set apart for the glory of the Lord over being one with the world.
To commit my life and my heart to the God that gave it all because He loves a loser like me (and you).
To allow Him to take over my heart.
To recognize my dependence on Him for anything good.
To remember. To believe. To know in my head, and to know with my heart.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Sweetest of Tastes: How the Blog Came To Be
Sure, I admit. The idea wasn't mine..but who knew I could relate my favorite drink with my source of love, joy, and life? And sure, I admit. The creation of this blog was partly the result of peer pressure (one of those "everyone's doing it" feelings..), but don't worry-I have enough of a purpose here to continue writing and still love it.
Let's start with my second favorite sweet awakening. COFFEE. mmm:) And I can't forget about Starbucks, my get-away-feel-good-soak-in-the-coffee-smell place. Coffee is "Awakening" in the sense that the caffeine in it gives a lift when I'm both physically and mentally exhausted..and "Sweet" in every possible way. Figuratively, coffee is there for me like a best friend on a bad day. Or a best friend on a great day (encompassing all days and making them better..). Coffee (I'm not hardcore enough to take it black) with sugar is literally sweet. Sometimes a mere chocolate, tea, or smoothie just doesn't satisfy my cravings. For my fellow coffee-lovers out there, I'm sure you understand why I can't accurately and successfully describe the special, sweet, bitter, roasty, smooth, mellow, comforting, filling, aromatic taste of coffee (forgive my understatement). Then there's just something special about it's "Body", or thickness, that satisfies more than water and doesn't weigh you down like chocolate milk. Take a moment, grasp all of this, and feel free to wonder how someone could NOT love coffee.
But I can live without coffee. The sweet awakening that's truly important is my knowledge of, heart for, and purpose in God. If you're still wondering how He applies, try plugging in "God" into almost all (but the literal and tangible) the references to coffee in the previous paragraph. He's why I'm starting something so seemingly unimportant as a blog, and He's why I hope to be sweetly awakened every time I'm here, writing.
For Him, the "Sweet" and "Awakening" go very much together. Concerning Him, all that is sweet should be awakening. The God that He is, the plan that He has for us, the fact that He sent His Son to EARTH, and the life that Jesus lived and gave-all of those [more than] sweet things should lead us to wake up and live differerntly. All that is awakening should be sweet. IS sweet..if we open our eyes little more often. The call to love, sacrifice, worship, devote, commit, obey, have compassion, give cheerfully, suffer, and exemplify Christ is actually a sweet, sweet privilege. A true response and awakening of the heart can only result in an ever-growing, fruitful relationship with the Lord, God, Best Friend, Refuge, Rock, Creator, Lover, and Father. Honestly, I can't fully grasp my mind around it. I'm brought back to it again and again, wanting to understand and feel more of Him. I guess that's where the unquenchable craving comes in, only with the Lord, an addiction is the best thing that can happen to someone. I can only ask God to help me see all that He is/does. I can only ask Him to open my heart and allow those things to change my life.
"Sweet" is definitely an understatement. Stay tuned :)
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