Squint

The sun is finallyyyyyy out! I haven't been outside yet (Mama Hsieh wouldn't let me go to church) but I'm pretty sure the clouds are still out and the brightness isn't squint quality.

But I don't mind the rain/fog/cloudiness so much after all..Last night was just a reminder that the ultimate plan is in God's plan and is glorifying to Him!!

I often think of my own life as the most important thing God could be deciding on, and the convictions about a greater plan are mere head-knowledge facts. How can I believe that I'm only a small part of a bigger plan when thoughts about my future are running through my mind all day everyday? When the environment which I'm immersed in is all about me? Which college will I go to? What am I going to be doing for the rest of my life? Will I love it? How hard is it going to be? Will I keep in touch with certain people? When will my loved ones die? Who am I going to marry? What grade am I going to get in this class?

As we all leave these questions unanswered, the only things we have to fall back on are those that are consistent. That we're sure of. Last night, the knowledge of God's consistency went from head knowledge to heart knowledge. He consistently proves us wrong, and He consistently calms our worries. He consistently proves to us that He is powerful and that involved in the details of our lives. He is consistent in faithfulness and in love.

Because it's December and so darn chilly outside, we decided to have hot drinks at the Crescendo coffeehouse. We don't need the sun! We've got the warmth and coziness of fellowship and delicious hot chocolate/apple cider! Then, this morning I was reminded that the sun also provides light, not just warmth. Even though it was already 10am, it still seemed overcast outside. And as I remembered God's overwhelming grace, love, and sovereignty, I found it hard to look/think upon it all at once. Our purpose in Him is always consistent and directed toward glorifying Him, even though it can be stressful/difficult. But it's somewhat comforting to recall that there's something worthy (MORE than worthy) to strive for. Something so big and good and warm and bright that thinking about it almost makes me squint.