Who am I?

It gets really frustrating sometimes, doesn't it? Our God allows pain, loneliness, tears, hunger, betrayal, disappointment, misunderstandings, shortcomings, and disease. So many of His people face trials and good people suffer everyday.
Who are You, God, to promise abundant blessings and a fulfilled life and to give us CRAP?
Who are You to ignore our prayers?
Who are You to take our loved ones?
Who are You to let injustice go unpunished?
The list goes on. I know this because in my limited faith and view of Christ, I am the one asking God why He isn't the God we're told He is. I am the one asking why things aren't perfect.

But I stand here now and look back at the past couple of weeks..
-the Lord wants me to remember Him, so that I may worship Him and have communion with Him ("Remembrance"-Matt Redman)
-the Lord seeks my time, set apart for Him, and my heart, devoted to Him, in all that I do. (the story of Mary and Martha..Luke 10:38-42)
-the Lord is a God of love, not hate/anger/punishment (John 3:17) and means for US to love as He does (Nooma video "Bullhorn")

It seems to me as though God is perhaps, maybe, possibly, TOTALLY bigger than we know. This God that I'm questioning is worth remembering and worshiping. He's MORE than worth my devotion of heart and time and efforts. And ultimately, we're here because He has a plan for us: TO LOVE. I really caught a glimpse of how limited my view of God is today. Those questions which flew so confidently from my heart suddenly turned into a whopping..

Who am I to ever question God's character, plan, faithfulness, and worth?

This God we all talk about...none of us really have an accurate idea of His love. And boy He IS love like no other! He IS love in all that He is and does. It surely takes a great amount of faith to believe that He's even there, but for believers, the challenge now is to have faith in His love. This love that will never be grasped or understood..we just need to believe in it. Why? Love is the basis of our lives. This love is from God, and if we can even think or hope to glorify Him, we need to have faith in His greater love.

We could spend infinite hours squeezing our eyes shut or searching scripture attempting to understand more of His love. I'm not saying that we shouldn't. But I've just been blown away by how recognition of it can change my way of thinking and living, and I believe that He meant to use homecoming--> canceled fnf--> a conversation with a sister to open my eyes to my constant misunderstanding of God and to praise Him for being greater than I understand.