Brian

I suddenly and randomly recalled something from my childhood today. When my step brother, Brian, lived with us, he'd come home from work around midnight. Most of the time I'd be asleep.

In the hallway, right before the doorway (my family kept the hallway lights on until everyone was in bed and the doors open for emergencies...until kitty cat came into our lives), there's a spot that creaks if you step on it. I remember the countless times he'd step on that creak and I'd quickly shut my eyes and bury my face into the pillow. He'd stand there and watch me lay there for a while, and I'd wait for the creak to sound again.

Sometimes, I'd open my eyes or he'd catch me. That's where the deadly tickle attack came in..he always had the worst tickle attacks, but I find myself missing them. Those tickle attacks have turned into warm hugs when he visits home since he got married almost 3 years ago, which I also love.

I dunno, as i remembered this today, I found myself wondering what things would cross his mind as he watched me sleep from the doorway. Most of all, it was surprisingly comforting to think that someone cared to come home and see me lay there even after a long day of work. I'm really lucky to have two step brothers who had the same dad and grew up with him...I think I see a lot of my dad, whom I've never known, just by looking at my 3 brothers. Self-discipline, humor, musicality, SMARTS, height...

I'm almost afraid to let go of this memory. That's why I've posted it here. I miss Brian and Kevin and their foot-jiggling, book-reading, piano-playing, cooking, movie-watching, music-playing, newspaper-flipping, smells, piggy-back-rides, door frame-slapping, and smiles.